kriske

hey everyone,

i have decided to move to blogspot.com

i will still be checking your livejournal.



-kris

what a shitty week it's been so far. i don't even want to talk about it.

last night i went to bed on time and this morning, well, i actually woke up in the morning.and it feels like a new day, and pathetic as it may sound, a new era.

i feel like putting on some make-up, blasting "i will survive" on my stereo and shouting along to it. we'll see about that.

but as a friend once put it, "you will limp a little, but you'll definitely live".

please please please
no more melodies
they lack impact, they're petty
they've been made up already

i have been so bored and dissapointed by music lately. it's sad. the past couple of years i have rarely heard new songs that would shake me and color me and everything around a couple of tones brighter. music that my skin would react to. music that would stick around after a week instead of being the regular disposable melody that gets you high for a couple of hours but its effect is totally gone the next day. there's nothing stable to hold onto. i'm not talking about three-day-wonder corporate products like michelle branch, christina, avril or the kind. then again, maybe i am.

what bothers me is that good, valuable artists succumb to the demands of the corporate industry and become pink plastic faded copies of what they once were. examples? here's examples. look at what happened to sarah bettens once she left k's choice to pursue a solo career. or try comparing "august and everything after" with "hard candy", the first and the last counting crows albums. then there's r.e.m. i was so enthusiastic when i saw their latest cd in the store and i gave it a listen. i felt so deflated when i walked out. needless to say, without the album in my hands. and it gets worse. tori amos, who is one of my music goddesses, seems to have given in, too. her latest release isn't bad. it's alright. but compared to the quality of music tori used to make, i think that getting an "it's not bad" comment is offensive. and she deserves it, sadly.


these are all artists i used to worship and whose music i lived by.

the good news is that not everyone sells out.

i clearly remember the night i first heard fiona apple -- i was lying in bed, listening to the radio way past midnight and suddenly there it was, "never is a promise". that song haunted me for months until i finally got my hands on the cd -- her debut release called "tidal". when she released it, she was a tiny 18 year old regular nobody from NY, but her songs were so quirky, unconventional, deep, unexpectedly intelligent and honest it was hard to believe how old she was. or how young, actually.
her follow-up record "when the pawn..." was more chaotic and challenging for the ears. nevertheless, or maybe because of that, this is one of the few definitive albums for all time in my opinion. it is strong, painfully honest and elegant. it is brilliant. and it has unique style, the same way only bjork or portishead could be unique. but that goes for all of fiona's music.

i've been eagerly anticipating the release of a new fiona album, but considering the publicity new foreign music gets in japan, i decided to check it out on the internet. and guess what i found?
that fiona apple finished her third record, "extraordinary machine", back in 2003 and ever since has been waiting for Sony to let her release it. and they wouldn't put the album out because "it has no hit song" and because it's not radio-friendly. come fucking on!  "tidal" wasn't exactly radio friendly, let alone "when the pawn...", and despite of that, both of them went platinum. since when do corporations decide for me what i'll hear or not? since when do corporations stop well established artists release their music? since when do music labels deprive fans of quality music?

funny enough, somehow the whole of "extraordinary machine" leaked and it's now widely available all over the internet. i am listening to it as i'm writing this and i have not stopped listening to it for three days now. this is real music. and fiona apple is so fucking talented it makes me cry.
 i guess that's enough said about the new album, that sony so patronizingly thinks we will not want to hear.

please visit http://www.freefiona.com and sign the petition for helping release "extraordinary machine".
yeah, i have downloaded it, so why buy it, you'd ask?  because this music deserves being paid for.

When it rains I paint your front door red
Warm has the idea of home in my head
And I'm clumsy with my brush,
Paint spills on glass

When it rains I paint your front door red
Bright as the idea of a child in my head
And I'm clumsy with my heart
Dreams spill on glass

And sometimes I wanna shake you and say
Tell me how it ends
Is there a breaking point, yeah
Up around the bend
Look at me spinning my silly little hands
Look at my heart march in this one woman band
Be my oscillating pair but not my rule of thumb
Be here beside me when all, is said and done

When it rains I buy a silver dress
And I don't know if it's for sorrow or happiness
Cause I'm clumsy with my choices
I don't choose at all

When it rains I buy a silver dress
Wanna call you up tonight and say
"Be my best friend, yeah be my best friend baby"

i replied sara's post, so guess i get to post this in my on journal.

 I want everyone who reads this to ask me 4 questions. Any 4, no matter how random. I have to answer them honestly. In turn, you have to post this message in your own journal, and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.

 (for some reason, rich text mode won't work with my mozilla. sorry.)

...it's like a bunch of eleven year olds at their first children-disco night. that's how clubbing is in japan. and (sometimes) that's how japan is.

* * *

the L word is a pretty good series, but what's even better is its music. ezgirl (who is music supervisor for s2) gets my applause. currently i'm on the hunt for transientworld, a fantastic electro band i found out about through L. i'd missed the feeling of falling that ridiculously in love with certain music.

* * *

the dj's at the only club in kyoto that's supposed to be decent are morons. honestly. sometimes i truly don't get what their deal is. they switch from house, to breakbeats to trance,to mario superbros tunes in three minutes and think they are so cool. ugh.

* * *

nevertheless, life's not so bad. there's work to get done and good music to listen to.

i'm sitting in the middle of my room wondering what to wear and thinking that my hair's too long. being hip is tough...heh.

adam just called and we're going out tonight. the only gay event for the month in our little city, it's gotta be fun. i have a lesson to teach before that, and also attend a dinner party a friend is throwing. and tomorrow morning i have to get up at 7am for a photo-trip. madness. we'll see if i'll go to bed at all.
it's funny. nothing happens for weeks, and when things start happening it's like an avalanche.

but i don't mind.

on another note, i think music rules my life. i want to be a dj. maybe i'll get back to trying(and enjoying it).

so much nonsense for now.

Juste le temps de battre des cils,
Un souffle, un éclat bleu,
Un instant, qui dit mieux,
L'équilibre est fragile

J'ai tout vu
Je n'ai rien retenu

Pendant que ton ombre
En douce te quitte
Entends-tu les autres qui se battent
A la périphérie
Et même si tes yeux
Dissolvent les comètes
Qui me passent une à une
Au travers de la tête

J'y pense encore
J'y pense

A cette époque on n'écoutait qu'à peine
Le clic-cloc des pendules
A l'heure où je te parle
Sans entraves... il circule
En septembre, en attendant la suite
Des carnages il se peut, qu'arrivent la limite

J'y pense encore
J'y pense

Ensemble, maintenant
On peut prendre la fuite
Disparus, pfffuit
Avant qu'ils aient fait ouf

J'y pense encore
J'y pense
J'y pense encore
J'y pense...

exams are over. the result is:

-i feel like a lemon that's been squeezed out

-my kanji writing ability has risen tremendously (yay!).

-now i have to keep it up and not forget all of them in a week

-once again i'm facing the abyss of "my (free) time".

-the good part is that i feel very active and i don't want to fall back into 'slug mode'

-i'll work, and when i'm not working for money, i'll work on my project (which is a secret for now)

-it wasn't so bad after all. i think i got rid of the paranoia that i have about school.

-my room looks like a refugee camp. i'll clean later.

anyway. it's 1.22 pm and i'm just finishing my morning coffee. i'll go check out a lecture on homosexuality that a japanese professor is giving at my school. which is rare and interesting for japan. then i'll get a couple of rolls developed and see if i've scored a decent picture from the setsubun festival (which i didn't tell you about, but maybe i will).

gotta go.

 

 

( here's some pictures )

i just got these gorgeous babes yesterday. aren't they pretty?

i think having good headphones is one of the best things in the world, right next to good coffee, arriving somewhere at dusk, discovering new music, and daydreaming.

incidentally, i also got a new haircut which i like a lot. maybe i'll post some pictures later on. this was my visit to a japanese hairdresser's ,and i've been here for five years. i had a reason, though. i was rather stressed, i gotta admit, having in mind the horrifying strories of unfortunate hairstyling experiences of foreigners in japan. but koji was great! that man is adorable.

*complacent sigh*

it is a wonderful saturday morning out and i'm going to take my headphones for a walk.
later.

i woke up in a more decent hour today, and it already does seem like a better day. i got a couple of things done and it certainly makes me feel better. if only a little.

on another note, frustration has crept over me and it's made me incredibly aggressive. but who's there at three am to beat up or at least yell at?

i guess music will have to do as a tranquilizer.

another day, just breathe...

life has never been a duller shade of grey.

i sleep through the difficult parts, the days, and i stay awake at night. doing nothing. indulging in the fake safety of darkness.

that can't be what a life is for.

so i take a pill and try to fight it. keep your fingers crossed, maybe tonight i'll win.

today i found out that i am not getting a free ticket back home. and that i can't wear my favorite jeans anymore. the zipper is screwed.

today i also found out that i've passed almost all my exams from last semester, which i did not at all expect. oh, well. i guess i can save for a ticket and i can fall in love with a new pair of jeans.

when you get busy, you have less time to think how complicated and shitty everything is...so true.

tired, but satisfied i didn't waste the day away.

and the instant award is new, wonderful music. the new naked records release. gaelle - transient. i'm dissolving in it like a vitamin pill dropped in a glass of water. thank you, cuttie.

 

have you ever smiled till you're aching?

 

have you ever laughed till your heart is breaking?

i just stole this from trashymagazine. it could turn into something interesting, who knows.

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:
(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. I'll answer what I can.
1.
2.
3.

what do you do when you don't know what to do with yourself?

гледам какво си написала...и си мисля. мисля си неща, които и преди съм си мислила, но не съвсем така...както сега.

аз и ти сме хора, родени "в края на 70-те и 80-те. next-поколението..." както казва Георги Господинов в едно свое есе по въпроса. въпросът за сегашните млади на България. И сякаш типично за нашето поколение, ние заминахме да учим "някъде" след като завършихме гимназията. или малко преди това, все тая.

зарязахме, образно казано, родната действителност в търсене на нещо по-добро, макар и да е временно. нещо, което ще ни осигури "светло бъдеще" когато пораснем. или поне по-светло от това, което хипотетично би ни очаквало, ако бяхме завършили български университет. и, не знам дали е така или не, но напоследък започвам да се съмнявам...съмнявам се, че това би ни направило по-добре платени. когато се върнем. може и да греша, разбира се.

не ме разбирай грешно. не съжалявам за времето, прекарано навън. но Яна ми се обади преди два дни и каза нещо адски на място..."Когато кандидатствахме, никой не си помисли за "после". За това какво ще стане след като завършим тези по-добри университети." ...и май е права.

това е едно нещо, което ме гложди. другото е свързано с него и изобщо с това, което аз, ти, яна, и повечето ми приятели навън изпитваме. дори сестра ми, която от 10 години не живее в България, но и на нея носталгията не и е минала и продължава да се връща по 1-2-3 пъти годишно и да се радва като дете, когато го прави. и да ми казва "ако знаеш колко е хубаво в България!" въпреки хилядите простаци, разкъртените улици, оглушителната чалга или маскираните с грим курви, които сънуват цици от силикон...

колко е хубаво в България!

...това обаче започваме да го виждаме, когато отидем достатъчно далеч. половин свят далеч, например. буквално, а и преносно. 'щото всичко, което е отвъд белград, ми се вижда не половин, а цял свят away.

...едва тогава научаваме колко било хубаво в България...

дали имаме куража да се върнем и да бъдем щастливи? ти как мислиш?

защото, струва ми се, вече сме видяли как можем да бъдем щастливи. толкова е просто.

и аз мисля, че да...да. имам куража.